Immanuel Kant was a real piss-ant
AWho was very rarely stable
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
DWho could think you under the table
David Hume could out-consume
GWhilhelm Friedrich Hegel
AAnd Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as sloshed as Schlagel
AThere's nothin' Nieizsche couldn't teach ya
'Bout the raising of the wrist
D B7 E7Socrates himself was permanently pissed
John Stuart Mill of his own free will
After half a pint o' shanty became particularly ill
Plato they say, could stick it away
Half a crate of whiskey every day
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
Hobbes was fond of his dram
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart
`I drink therefore I am'
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